If I had a Million Dollars

Neil,

We should do Hershey Park earlier in the summer next year so I can reap the benefits of all the vitamin D I get from waiting in lines for fifteen minutes at a time to ride waves and loop de loop. I will not lay out in the sun, but an amusement park is the perfect excuse to wear a tank top. Neil, I have got to tell you that Hershey Park is the only way I can have a guilt free summer tan, and I want to have it not just for August. And also, it is obvious that the sun screen I used is a tad expired. But that is okay because it was, like, 50 spf and I would not have this nice tan. So, next year’s Hershey Park visit will be a day of spf 20. And a lazy river; I can not wait. I hope this lazy river will be all that I am hoping for. Neil, tell Hershey Park not to screw it up. Although I don’t know how exactly you screw up a canal of moving pool water and some fun waterfalls.

I wonder how much the Wave Rider cost. If I am going to be rich I need a goal to reach. If a roller coaster cost fourteen million dollars do you think a little bitty hill with gushing water could cost more than a million dollars? I wonder if I could find how much it cost Hershey… Okay, found out that the Wave Rider was manufactured by Aquatic Development Group; Cohoes, NY. Now, I found out that the manufacturers call the attraction a Flow Rider. They make a double, like that of Hershey Park and a single which could possibly not cost a bizillion dollars. Oh my goodness they can conjoin the Flow Rider with a lazy river. And it comes with ten boogey… bugey boards. But I can not find the price.

Well, Neil, if I ever have a million dollars to spare I will look into how willing Aquatic Development Group is to selling a Flow Rider to a private residence. Even if this beautiful, awesome attraction of water and thrills cost more than a million dollars for me to get into my back yard, chances are a million dollars is a good start. So, that is what I would do for a million dollars. Chances are if I can spare a million dollars, chances are I will own a big enough back yard.

What would you do with a million dollars?
Love, Pam

Television and Med-school

Dearest Neil,

If I could get paid for watching television shows on DVD all day I would be rich. Right now I am in the middle of the first season of 30 Rock, and i already have seen half of these episodes. More than half of these episodes really. I must get the rest of this series. But I have bigger fish to fry.

Neil my “T” button on my key board is not working nicely! I have to press harder to get it to work or hit the back space when I realize I did not hit it hard enough. Dang “T” is a popular letter. This is too difficult. As a fellow laptop owner, Neil, what advice do you have for sticky “T” buttons?

I am looking forward to Hershey Park tomorrow. I am sure they do not have sticky “T” keys. And Mom found me some son screen. Wow I just typed “son” instead of “sun”. Maybe I am just too tired for this… this late night blogging. Ha, late night. Sticky “T” buttons, typos, and head aches; Late night blogging is not worth it.

Night time blogging is so not cool, I have been at this post so long I am now watching Grey’s Anatomy season two on DVD. Well, now it is apparent, Neil, that I have nothing to write about tonight. Maybe night time blogging is really not for me. Maybe I need a hat with topics written on pieces of paper. A topic hat.

Ick, Dr. McDreamy’s estranged wife is so ugly and fake looking.

I wonder how many typos I have written so far.

Now they are attempting the same surgery House did. But I think this show came first, not sure. Grey’s is calling it a Stand Still operation where the surgeons stop the patient’s heart in order to operate on the brain. House did it to remove a tumor, and Grey’s guy has an aneurysm. I do not know much about aneurysm’s but I know they can be removed.

I am learning so much watching these hospital shows. But I think they are turning me into a hypochondriac. Last week I was convinced I was getting pneumonia. I feel better now. They also make me want to become a diagnostician; I love solving problems. But there is no way I could get through pre-med classes. Too bad all the hard careers are the useful ones.

See you tomorrow Neil, don’t forget to be awesome,
Love, Pam

Stolen Survey

Dear Neil,

I think I am getting sick. Or I am having a terrible allergic reaction to something. But anyway, John Green posted this survey on his blog, so I think it would be fun… maybe.

37 Things

Taken from John Green who took this from E. Lockhart:
37 Odd Things About Me
1. Do you like blue cheese?

I hate it. Well, it is nice when you are eating buffalo wings… but really, it does not taste good. At all.

2. Have you ever smoked?

No, thank God.

3. Do you own a gun?

No. I don’t think I could buy a gun if I wanted to.

4. What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite?

I have not had Kool-Aid in the longest time. One year at my friends birthday party we had a blue Kool-aid that looked like toilet water after you put that blue stuff in it. And it tasted good, so Toilet Water Kool-Aid is my favorite.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?

I guess, normally yeah.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?

I think the taste like a culinary masterpiece when they are grilled. But when they are boiled I want to throw them up.

7. Favorite Christmas movie?

A Charlie Brown Christmas…it’s the best

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

Whatever I am thirsty for.

9. Can you do push ups?

Eh, not really. No.

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?

I don’t like wearing jewelry, no matter what it is I end up playing with it until I get distracted from the lecture I am sitting in, or it breaks. But other people sometimes wear pretty jewelry that I like to look at.

11. Favorite hobby?

Right now, watching House M.D.; Grey’s Anatomy and; 24 on DVD from start to finish. It’s a long process if you rely on the library for the DVDs.

12. Do you have A.D.D.?

I Thought I did in 10th grade, turned out that my Spanish class was just really boring.

13. Do you wear glasses/contacts?

I did.

14. Middle name?

Ann. Like everyone else in America.

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?

1) What if everyone in America did have Ann as their middle name?

2) Do I really need to make a list for this answer?

3) I wonder what Neil will think of this.

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?

Water, the lemonade from work, juice cocktails our parents always buy.

17. Current worry?

What if I gain too much weight drinking juice cocktails and lemonade?

18. Current hate right now?

The feeling in the back of my throat.

19. Favorite place to be?

Haven’t found it yet.

20. How did you bring in the new year?

Party at my friends house. Then we all tried to hunker down for the rest of the morning, but Mabel wouldn’t give me her blanket (she has a BED in the house, and she refused to go sleep in it), so I left.

21. Where would you like to go?

Good question. For vacation? Anywhere I haven’t been… except for places I really don’t want to go. That should be the question. Where would you NOT like to go?

22. Name three people who will complete this?

Complete this as in make it whole? Or complete this as in see it, and copy it? Uh… um… your mom… your face… and…. your mom’s face…

23. Do you own slippers?

Too many.

24. What shirt are you wearing?

The zebra/giraffe t-shirt.

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?

I might.

26. Can you whistle?

Only at random times when I don’t expect it.

27. Favorite color?

Brown. Not poop brown. Chocolate brown.

28. Would you be a pirate?

If I got to go home after my fantasy is complete, yes.

29. What songs do you sing in the shower?

Whatever is in my head. Show tunes sound especially nice with those acoustics.

30. Favorite Girl’s Name?

Can’t say, you’ll steal it.

31. Favorite boy’s name?

Don’t know yet.

32. What’s in your pocket right now?

Lint.

33. Last thing that made you laugh?

Considering I just woke up, and right before bed last night I was watching 24… I can’t remember.

34. What vehicle do you drive?

Chevy Cavalier, purple, two door, sun/moon roof, manual; oh, I know you’re drooling over it now.

35. Worst injury you’ve ever had?

I guess when I had it get a couple of stitches in first grade. Don’t jump on beds kids!

36. Do you love where you live?

PA weather is really nice in comparison.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house?

I really don’t know. Blame Dad.

Don’t Forget to be Awesome,
Love Pam

Where’s the Estrogen?

Dear Neil,

I’m glad I got to hang out with Mandy yesterday. And I am glad we got to see The Dark Knight together. How did you like it? It’s great, is it not? But it’s not perfect.

I think, overall, the biggest problem I have with Christian Bale’s Batman is the voice he uses. I understand that he does

t want to sound like Bruce Wayne when he meets with the police or when he interrogates the criminals, but I think he does’nt sound like a real man. Batman is supposed be a civilian vigilante, but he sounds like a mad baseball player on the juice. And it’s not just Bale’s Batman other men in the movie, like Aaron Eckhart’s Harvey Dent and Two-Face opt for the deep, gravely and unnatural voice. And I know it’s a comic book movie, you do not see me complaining about the improbability of The Jokers ability to pull off his major crimes, or how Batman, or Bruce Wayne (however you want to look at it) managed to pull that trick with the cell phones off. I am all for suspending my belief to allow the plot to sail pass the screen without a problem in an unbelievable world, but Christopher Nolan created a Gotham City that could easily take place in America without anyone being suspicious of the city belonging in a comic book. For instance Heath Ledger’s The Joker is real, and life-like. While who The Joker is remains a complete mystery, the audience can see that The Joker is a man. Underneath is make-up lays a nose, and eyes that are organic and can be found on anyone’s face. And Batman’s Batmobile isn’t a vehicle a seven year old would design and stick in a comic book. The Batmobile looks like something the military could, and would send to the Middle East to fight terrorists. So Gotham City in Nolan’s movies don’t resemble Tim Burton’s interpretation of a comic book setting caught on film, but a real place. So if Nolan’s Batman is so real why is Bale allowed to talk like a creature that doesn’t fit in the real…er… more real world of Gotham City. Also if Bruce Wayne spent his nights lowering his voice and roughing it up, in the morning he would be sporting a sore throat and scratchy voice.

But they didn’t mind giving Maggie Gyllenhaal’s Rachel Dawes a scratchy voice after she was kidnapped. What is with comic books and women? Just because it is written by men and focuses on violence more than most women appreciate does not mean the women characters need to take a back seat in the plot. I think I counted, like three and a half female main characters: 1) Rachel Dawes- lawyer, romantic interest; 2) Anna Ramirez- detective, barely her own person, and bribe-able; wife of Jim Gordon- house wife, kidnapp-able; 4) daughter of Jim Gordon- not the favorite child (more on the later), she her face once for one second. Everyone else is a man, and a lot of those male characters have interesting character development. For instance, take the more minor characters: 1) the mob bosses- all male, all interesting (depending); 2) the mayor of Gotham City- played by the guy from Lost who never ages, how does this guy keep getting cast when he has tattooed eye-liner! If I were a  casting director in Hollywood I would never hire a actor/actress with tattoos (not that tattoos are bad, but for an actor tattoos interrupts your ability to create a new person); 3) the news anchor- could have easily been cast as a female and add more balance of gender in the movie; . As for the main characters, like Bruce Wanye, Harvey Dent, Jim Gordon, and Lucius Fox I understand this is a “male” movie so there needs to be strong male characters. But as for the minor characters, a little estrogen would not hurt anything.

And my last beef with The Dark Knight is Jim Gordon and his family. They have two children, I think one of them is a girl, but we barely see her, because when asked to pick who he loves the most Gordon does not answer right out, but with a gun pointing to his three loved ones the villain saw something in Gordon in order to pick Gordon’s son to threaten. I do not know why, but I feel that it’s clear that Gordon’s son is favored, and it isn’t because he has a vagina. Also the idea that the villain could push his victims further by targeting the most loved one is absurd. In an average, well-adjusted, and healthy nuclear family neither of the parents should favor one child or the other. Love normally does not work that way.

Don’t Forget to be Awesome
Love, Pam

Eight Books

Dear Neil,

Hank Green has a new Harry Potter related song up on the vlogbrother’s YouTube channel. And while I understand that you and Mandy are still only in December of Brotherhood 2.0, you should understand that if you watch this vlog-song you will not be violating your attempt to watch all of John and Hank’s videos in order, because… it is just a song. Anyway, it is a good song.

And this song got me thinking about the seventh Harry Potter book. And I am think this: I could have written a better epilogue… and some other bits. What bothers me about the Deathly Hallows includes two things: 1) that weird chapter when Harry gets knocked out or something and he is in that white room with Dumbledore. J.K. Rowling could have written some meaningful, and beautiful prose about life and death. But I feel like she copped out of writing more. Maybe she did not expand on that particular experience of Harry’s because her options were to either scrap that chapter or put it in as it was. But I do not like that chapter with Harry and Dumbledore in that mysterious place because through out the Harry Potter series Rowling had the uncanny ability to explain this magical and unbelievable world. If something inexplicable happens readers can close the book and feel satisfied and convinced that these things happened to Harry and his friends. But this chapter in The Deathly Hallows does not give me that feeling. Plus we do not know why it happens either. Harry is a hero who learns from every experience that crosses his path to adulthood. But I do not think he learned from hanging around with the dead Dumbledore in a white room. So what is the point?

And the second thing that has me losing my English Nerdfighting faith with Rowling is the epilogue. I am so disappointed in it; I think for the last words the world would ever hear about their beloved Harry Potter I think Rowling should have nixed the epilogue altogether or concentrated more on it. I feel that the epilogue, the way it was published seems too diluted and uninteresting. Honestly, I just want to know about Harry’s godson. That character alone would make an excellent book, and Rowling could write it without breaking her vow to stop writing Harry Potter books after number seven. And after awhile I think Rowling will get bored with her Potter-less life and starting writing again. Who knows, maybe she is already working on her eighth novel.

Don’t Forget to be Awesome, Neil
Love, Pam

Superheros, Robots and Dresses

Neily Bo-beily,

The Dark Knight opens today, and I could probably go see a matinee with my friend Danni Ryan (she was in the children’s shows at Little Theater with me). But I’m too lazy to call and see if the Cinema Center still has tickets. SO lazy. Maybe I should ask Danni to call… naw, I don’t want to put that much pressure on her.

*Le sigh* (Neil, that is French for *sigh*). I read The New Yorker review of The Dark Knight, and now I am not so sure it is as awesome as Batman Begins and the movie trailers lead me to believe it is.

The reviewer said the movie is too dark, violent and claustrophobic. He said the plot is too entropic; the end offers no relief from the bad guys. But the writer loved the bad guy, the late Heather Ledger as The Joker. He is why I really want to see this movie. Ledger knew how to act. He acted like the character he was cast as; instead of just saying the lines the script gave him. That is good acting. I hope he wins a posthumous Oscar or a lifetime achievement award, because in his lifetime he did achieve things.

Also he reviewed Wall-E and LOVED it. Now I really want to see it. What really impressed me with the review of the Pixar film is how the writer made the kid’s animated movie seem like any movie made for anyone. If you had no clue what Pixar was you would think Wall-E was just a movie. So it must be said: kids movie’s do not have to be dumbed down so the little kids minds can grasp it all. Kids movies, and books and songs should just omit violence, sex, language and other mature things. But kids movies do not need to shy away from themes and motifs that only adults can understand fully. For example Wall-E is about dystopia. Ask a fifth grader to spell dystopia, then ask him or her about Pixar’s movies.

With this school of thought any kids film could be entertaining to adults, and many are. But my problem with some kids films are they become flimsy and disentertaining (that is the opposite of entertaining, Neil). I want, I need movies that make me think, let me form an opinion. For example I watched 27 Dresses yesterday. While it was not perfect I really liked it. As far as romantic comedies go this one has something different: character! It gave me something to think about, so it succeeded in my eyes.

Update you later about The Dark Knight if I see it soon.

Don’t Forget to be Awesome,
Love, Pam

Judge a Candidate by a Cover

Neil!

I am so excited to receive my New Yorker in the mail this Wednesday. For once I saw the cover before the mail arrived because it is so controversial the news is having a field day.

As you can see this week’s New Yorker cover deserves controversy. The news’ reaction is mainly filled with disgust and other appalled emotions. As you can see the illustrator packed in the most outrageous details of Barack Obama’s campaign. Some details are scandalous lies that blossomed into false facts that the average American believes such as “Barack Obama is a Muslim and is connected to Islamic extremists terrorists”. Some details are superficial entities of who Obama is, such as his decision not to wear an American flag pin on his lapel.  But honestly, you have to look past what is on the cover and think about what it says about America’s politics, and our culture’s use of rumors that effects how we vote. This week’s cover is illustrated by Barry Blitt and the title is “The Politics of Fear” and I think the title of the illustration says a lot about the message.

Obviously The New Yorker does not believe that Obama is how Blitt depicted him in the illustration. All one needs to do is open every issue to “The Talk of the Town” section and read the first article on the page. In my New Yorker experience the presidential candidates have been featured here every week this election season, so it will not be difficult to accumulate what The New Yorker believes about Obama.

The title clearly indicates how the artist and the magazine want to point out with this cover how ridiculous the rumors and speculation about Obama are. On the Daily Show with John Stewart they took the media frenzy as an opportunity to make a media montage of all the coverage the major news networks give to rumors about the Obamas. So what is wrong with a well know, and highly respected publication giving attention to these far-fetched lies in their own way.

Also I doubt that many people who take current events, and politics seriously or even just read The New Yorker believe rumors put out by untrustworthy sources. My interpretation of “The Politics of Fear” is the attempt to throw the image of who America thinks Obama is. The ridiculous cover is trying to point out the ridiculous view of politics we Americans have.

If you really want to know about a candidate do not trust sound bites and what your neighbor thinks. Read about them, listen to them, and listen to your gut instinct. Also, in a week or two everyone is going to forget about this cover; the controversy will be replaced by something else.

Don’t Forget to be Awesome, Neil
Love, Pam

Real Life and Fairy Tales

Dear Neil,

Last night Mom and I watched “Dan in Real Life”, a recent Steve Carell movie. I really liked it, and I think Mom liked it a lot too. Critics could argue that the family reunion is too perfect with cross word puzzle competition, morning aerobics and talent shows. But I believe the extended family’s dynamic is the best backdrop for the hilarious misfortunes of the main character, Dan. I really do think it is absolutely funny. You should watch it. The only complaint is the end; they ended it the way every romantic comedy ends… oh, I do not want to ruin it… oh, I will not be ruining anything. It ends with a wedding reception, everyone is dancing and happy and paired off with their loved ones. Every romantic comedy ends this way, and I wonder if there is positively no other way to end romantic comedies.

I read some more of Hans Christian Andersen’s Fairy Tales. And I do not like him any more than the last time I read some of the collection. Oh well. I thought for, like, two minutes that I found another story that I liked like I liked the stories before they got weird, but then it got weird. This story in question is called The Bell. It starts out with a description of a town near a forest, and in the town the people can hear the ringing of a bell. They think it is coming from deep inside the forest, so those adventurous enough travel inside the woods. But when they come to a clearing they do not want to go further, and are content to just stay in the meadow where they can hear the beautiful bell ring loud and clear. I thought that the story was romantic at this point. Imagine something so lovely that would draw you away from everyday life. I think that is what Fairy Tales are made of, and that is what makes the good ones interesting to read. Maybe I am and escapist; when I read a book I want to be in the world of the story. I think that it is a very romantic notion to escape to another place in your mind. Even if the story takes place in my home town, good writing can transform my mind and take me anywhere. That is what I think Fairy Tales should be.

Don’t Forget to be Awesome, Neil
Love, Pam

P.S.- Wow, I am bored, playing Spider Solitare and Neil, something amazing happened:

The Desert of Summer

Dear Neil,

I am writing to you from a strange land: Boredom Desert. All I see is a hand-held tetris game and a Project Runway marathon. All I hear is the constant running of the broken toilet. All I feel is the emptiness of my stomach. Boredom is a desert.

Boredom is dry and lonely. Boredom is the absence of hope; I need Barack Obama here. I need a big tall tropical drink of fun…with those little umbrellas! I need friends to hang out with during the day, I need summer lovin’.

I need a vacation. Where should I go? I hate the beach. I could go to New York or Boston or some place where I could do some real exploring. But I want to go on a road trip in which I drive and I do not want to drive to a city. And I do not know if I want to go on a vacation alone. The only two candidates I can think of to go on vacation with me are Emily and Kate, but they have vacations of their own to go on. I could go all on my own, but do I want to do that? Do I want to subject myself to that loneliness? If boredom is loneliness then it is arguable that loneliness itself invokes boredom. And I do not want to be bored on my potential vacation!

Neil, where is your favorite vacation place? Do you think I should just go on a day trip somewhere? I could save money on “room and board” if I do not have to get a motel room. Where can I drive to all alone for just one day and not be bored? Neil, I do not want to be in a desert.

I wish I had some grade and middle school aged children so I could take them to Cedar Point or Six Flags. Oh, speaking of amusement parks, Neil, I have not been to Hershey Park this summer yet. And I also have not been to the Boardwalk Water Park part of the park yet. Maybe I should plunge in and go to the park, Mandy will be able to join me, right? Neil, what is the least busy day at the park?

Hershey Park is not a desert. I can ride Lighting Racer for two hours straight. Who needs friends? I have racing roller coasters!

Don’t Forget to be Awesome
Love, Pam

Bagels, Toasters, and Ovens

Hey Neil,

I woke up with something in mind to write about. And now I forget it. Maybe if I go back to sleep…

I got a new pillow, it is down. Today I found a feather on my sleeve. That is not what I wanted to write about when I woke up.

I am hungry I am going to have a toasted bagel with cream cheese… toasting… toasting… okay we do not have cream cheese. We have Neufchatel Cheese. Sounds German, those crazy Germans. It is EXACTLY like cream cheese but it has less fat. Wow it is actually French, those crazy Europeans. Cool, according to Wikipedia, “In 1872, a New York dairyman, in the township of Chester, created cream cheese as the result of an attempt to create a batch of Neufchâtel. In the United States, French Neufchâtel is called farmers’ cheese”.

Toasting update. I put my bagel in the toaster oven for five minutes, but the things in the oven that get hot are not red yet. What do I do?!? I hope I do not burn my bagel, but I want it nice and toasted. What a toasting dilemma! I put my bagel in for another four minutes. Errgh! We need a new toaster oven… badly. Here is a funny story: we used to have a nice toaster oven until I was making toast and the crumbs on the bottom caught on fire. NOT MY FAULT. Mom did not clean HER Christmas present from Janet, so it is mom’s fault! Luckily it was a contained fire (in the toaster oven after all) so we let it just die down. But then the whole house smelled like burnt yucky yuck, mom went on a air freshener shopping spree, and we bought a crappy toaster oven. Now this toaster oven needs to be replaced!

Okay, bagel update, just ate my bagel. It was not toasted at all! Did Mandy break the toaster oven last night? But bagels and toasters were not what I want to write about today.

BUT I can not remember what I wanted to write about this morning. Grr.

I just saw a commercial in which a man buys an eclair and a cup of coffee with a credit card… maybe it was a debit card, but still… I do not know what point I am trying to make with this… and this is not what I wanted to write about when I woke up this morning!

Well, I guess we can not always get what we want.

Don’t Forget to Be Awesome,
Love, Pam